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I feel like crap
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I appreciate where you're coming from, as I've been there, too. The best thing to do is toughen up a bit and just realize that you cannot please everyone and you're just human.
I am disabled with over a dozen chronic health problems(whee!) which effects my cognition, so I know that I will on the rare occasion jack something up. It's not intentional, but it happens. Anytime I am at fault, I usually will give someone the item for free sans shipping, and it works out great for them, and happens just rarely enough that I don't mind it. After all, the most important thing is that we are both happy, and I have no problem taking responsibility for it. However, I did have one woman on that dreaded-not-to-be-named-place a month or so ago who was absolutely horrible and said that I was not disabled but scamming her and should be ashamed and just went on and on. It was a simple mistake, but she just just couldn't seem to understand that I had not, in fact, accrued 1300+ positive transactions simply so that I could scam her. Laughing
So at that point, you just have to let it go - I knew she wasn't going to be happy ever, and frankly, I don't need the abuse, so I just told her we were done communicating at that point. Does it hurt? Yes, it obviously left an impression on me, but it's one person in many, and there is only a very minor (I'm estimating 1-3%) of customers who will be irrational, and I'm sure as hell not going to let them spoil what I enjoy doing for me. There's no way I'd give them that power, and as one buyer taught me - it's important to forgive others, but moreso to forgive yourself. I promise it makes things easier. Very Happy
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TexasTreasures
moderator


Posts: 3467

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure B&T would let you take over his job, Seamless...you would soon become a little abrupt, too.
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TexasTreasures wrote:
I'm sure B&T would let you take over his job, Seamless...you would soon become a little abrupt, too.


OMG so true. I was a mod once, and never again!
Shocked
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thelivesandlovesofmaggiethecat



Posts: 9940

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

house of W
I just looked at your latest neutral feedback. This is a case in point.
Low price, Great Service, Slow Shipping.
Seems a contradiction in terms. When you are a drop shipper, it seems you can be ultra fantastic and if your shipper is slow or negligent, you are the one getting the grief.
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I'm not a dropshipper, but it's stated in my FAQ's that I require extra time for shipping, as well as the front page and several other places, yet I received a neutral for "slow shipping".
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thelivesandlovesofmaggiethecat



Posts: 9940

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry I misinterpreted your site. You use a lot of stock photos so I assumed you were a drop shipper.
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thelivesandlovesofmaggiethecat wrote:
Sorry I misinterpreted your site. You use a lot of stock photos so I assumed you were a drop shipper.


Which ones? I take my own and do my own photoshopping. The animals are my pets, and I sometimes use my nieces and nephews. I have a few in my kitchen, some in my living room.
I also have a white background set up for a lot of items that I photoshop away. ETA: and a friend who models on occasion.
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bonkersbeautybuys



Posts: 130

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 11:56 am    Post subject: Comment on BTMC Reply with quote

Seamless you need to consider your coments before making negative statements about someone who is only taking time to try and help you.
Big/Tall has been my "Savior" with assistance all hours of the day & night.
If you want "candy-coating", then only ask for praise. If you want advice that will improve your sales & feedback & the future of your store here, you should listen to the advice of the person on these boards that I have found to have ALMOST every answer. (There IS that thing about the Met Tags). Laughing
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TheHouseofW wrote:
thelivesandlovesofmaggiethecat wrote:
Sorry I misinterpreted your site. You use a lot of stock photos so I assumed you were a drop shipper.


Which ones? I take my own and do my own photoshopping. The animals are my pets, and I sometimes use my nieces and nephews. I have a few in my kitchen, some in my living room.
I also have a white background set up for a lot of items that I photoshop away. ETA: and a friend who models on occasion.


I have to say that the more I thought about this, the more angry and upset I got. I don't appreciate being accused of using a lot of stock photos when I spend hours and hours working on my photos. I am disabled, and one of my issues is with coordination and my hands twitch, which make it that much harder, so I'm very proud of my time, effort, and determination in making a professional presentation. I have set up a small studio for photography and honestly, the bulk of my time and effort goes into the pictures of the items. This really upsets me, and I ask that you please be more careful when you making such comments in the future.
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bonkersbeautybuys



Posts: 130

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excuse me, please believe me, I understand your frustration because I, too, am disabled. I must rely on an online business to pay my bills, cause Heaven knows SSD won't. But this is NOT an easy way to make a living.
I swear I am not critisizing you, but only trying to help when I say, you NEED to develope a thicker skin. The first time some Nasty Scammer on Ebay Left Vicious Lies About me, (because I wouldn't sell to her on the side). I was in tears.
You will NEVER make everyone happy & not everyone will bother to care about your feelings. They just want something you have, and they want it for the lowest price they can get it, and they want it to arrive yesterday. It isn't any failing, but I think you care too much about what others think.
Stop driving yourself crazy! You already got an apology about the photo issue. You know you can be proud of what you acomplish. You are getting upset over the opinions of people who are trying to help, but also have much less information than you about what you do. Log off for awhile, get some dinner, & watch some silly show on TV. Trust me this will seem much less hurtful if you walk away for awhile.
Keep a stiff upper lip.
Gail
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bonkers, is that for me?

I think you're misunderstanding me. There's nothing wrong with feeling frustrated, and to express it is to let it go. I promise I've picked up the pieces of my life and moved on already. Laughing
Plus, I'm always open to help, as I've said in another thread, and openly welcomed in yet other threads. However, I'm not so sure I'd say accusing one of ripping off intellectual property as "helpful criticism". Now, suggesting a different layout or way of itemizing or say as Big did, helped me with my FAQs about what is and isn't allowed, that's helpful.
I can assure you that I do not drive myself crazy Laughing but I think I understand where you are coming from, as it sounds like you are speaking from personal experience and attempting to empathize, which I appreciate.
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TexasTreasures
moderator


Posts: 3467

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Please understand I am trying to say this in the kindest way possible. I teach children with disabilities and no one understands physical limitations any more than I do.
The thing is that buyers don't. They don't care if a seller is ill, or in the hospital, disabled...none of it. They are totally selfish about their buying, and when they buy it, they want it immediately..before the check clears, before the screen changes on the computer. they want you at their front door with it the next day. OK, that's an exaggeration, but not much!
What I'm trying to say is that they are not concerned with the problems of the seller. When they enter into a contract to buy-and they pay-they expect the seller to deliver, and they're not interested in any problems that may delay that delivery. And really,, they have a right to expect that. If you have problems that keep you unable to fulfill that contract at times, you might want to check on hiring someone who can come by once or twice a week to pack and mail for you.
I would also remove any reference to disabilties or inability to deliver at times. That will just make buyers leery of dealing with you-the uneducated sometimes confuse physical disability with mental weakness and may shy off from buying from someone they think is not capable of conducting business. And besides...it's none of their business, and they shouldn't be judging you by any physical problems but by how well you run your business.
I wish you the best of luck. Online selling is the perfect business for people who can't, for various reasons (such as motherhood) work out of the home. I hope your store does great!
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TheHouseofW



Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TT, I've learned through experience and years of selling that it's best to caveat it. Sure, it may make a few people uneasy for whatever reason, but I've had thousands of wonderful transactions with only an extremely minor few problems that were the result of, you guessed it - them not reading all the info. So, I've learned it best to just simply be upfront about it so there are no surprises.
Prior to my becoming ill, I was a therapist. Prior to that, I was a florist during my undergrad and ran the store for a while at age 20. I'm not unfamiliar with how to run a business, and while I'd love to find an alternative, it's just not going to happen. The truth is, I cannot pack and ship the next day most often. And, I absolutely cannot afford under any circumstance to hire anyone else. Neither is an option. So, I'm upfront, and my personal experience has been rewarding with that. So I'll stick with it. And honestly, if someone would have an issue with it, I'm probably not going to want to deal with them anyways, so it's no major loss in that regard. Now, I can and have had people ask if I could make exceptions, and if they clear it with me, I certainly will do so. I just can't promise that to everyone. Considering that there are days I cannot brush my teeth, much less pack an item, I don't think that's too much to expect of myself. I think it's important to also assert that this is not a huge money-making venture for me so much as it is my grasp to sanity. I'm not going into all of the ins and outs of that or my situation since I really don't feel comfortable doing so, but I do this because I enjoy it, and it helps return to me a sense of purpose and contribution to my household. I was fully functional to some degree until approximately 3 years ago, and I would have never been able to fathom any of this until I experienced it myself, so I do not expect others to understand. And like I said, if they don't, then I'm okay with them not buying. Very Happy
(I'm not saying that I don't welcome input, as I absolutely do, just explaining where I'm coming from and I'm in a much more casual place than others most likely are with this. )
And seriously, hugs to you TT and bonkers for being such wonderful souls!
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bigtallmensclothing
moderator


Posts: 21854

PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This topic is way off topic, lol

Therefore it is now locked.
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