RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR ...

[YourRainyDayBookStore]

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR ...

The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll
remember it."

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten
minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met
yet!

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I
finally snap!

I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs
work.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a
piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no"
which is shorter than "yes" .

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that
second week.

When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people" ?

Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant
which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!

And, of course, Have I sent this to you already -- or did you send this to
me?

[AtMemoryLane]

I loved it. I was truly ROTFL - ROTFL - ROTFL - ROTFL.

and it usually takes a lot to even get me to smirk.

[SheilaDeesPostcards]

Thanks for posting this. It really had me laughing and I've shared it with several others.

[maggiethehousecat]

A good laugh and I can relate to most of them.