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YourRainyDayBookStore

Posts: 764
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:29 am Post subject: RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR ... |
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RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR ...
The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll
remember it."
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten
minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met
yet!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I
finally snap!
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs
work.
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a
piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no"
which is shorter than "yes" .
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that
second week.
When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people" ?
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant
which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!
And, of course, Have I sent this to you already -- or did you send this to
me? |
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AtMemoryLane
Posts: 510
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:44 am Post subject: |
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I loved it. I was truly ROTFL - ROTFL - ROTFL - ROTFL.
and it usually takes a lot to even get me to smirk. |
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SheilaDeesPostcards

Posts: 4190
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for posting this. It really had me laughing and I've shared it with several others. |
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maggiethehousecat

Posts: 2401
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:09 am Post subject: |
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A good laugh and I can relate to most of them. |
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